Double Caramel

The rain had stopped, but for a few random drops here and there, that danced on newly formed puddles. The air was heavy with moisture and the sweet aroma of grass, wet Earth, and grateful flowers hung in the balance. It was the perfect opportunity to throw on the forgotten sneaks and take a walk.

Wayne and I set off down the street, dodging puddles and catching raindrops on our tongues. I felt it the perfect time to start anew. The clean air filled my dusty lungs. My calves felt stronger with every stride. I made up my mind that this beautiful, blessed Sunday would be the day I set my mind to certain changes.

We kept up a brisk pace, and with every step, I felt my muscles grow stronger and stronger still. I imagined my fat melting off. It was beautiful. As we neared 7-11, our pace grew quicker still, in anticipation of some healthy water or sugar-free gum. Healthy, responsible options.

My eyes were fixed on the gum on the top shelf, above the candy. “Don’t look down, don’t look to the right, don’t look to the left”, I whispered to myself. I had tunnel vision, eyeing the Orbit Bubble Mint. Then, a flash of gold to my right. Gleaming gold. Gold and creamy brown. I knew without looking, it was temptation at its rawest. It was a Magnum Double Caramel.

No. No. No. I came for gum. I came for fitness. I came to say I walked to 7-11 and didn’t buy a damn donut.

Wayne somehow saw what I was trying not to see, and the Magnum pulls him in. It’s a force greater than love, magnetism, gravity. Without actually feeling or knowing, I opened the sliding door, selected two bars, placed them on the counter and then somehow I was outside, panting, sweating, shaking.

Wayne realized we needed to make it home with our spoils in one piece. Walking and eating ice cream was out of the question. One can’t enjoy ice cream whilst panting and wheezing. How were we going to prevent meltage?

We ran like hell.

My lungs burned. My feet pounded the pavement with the force of the gods. My calves seized, my belly shook, and my knees buckled. I can’t be sure what kept me going, but my guess would be the fear that the inevitable melting of the ice cream bar would compromise its integrity. This would compromise my enjoyment. And you can’t have that.


Author: fattymccupcakes

Just a thirty-something girl trying to love herself the way she is: fat, rolls, cellulite, and fabulousness.

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