Testing the Waters-“Body Positivity”

Methinks I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m not skinny. I mean, my body size is in the name of my blog. If you’re shocked right now, you have not read one thing I’ve written. If you have read at least a few of my blog posts, you know I specialize in self-deprecation (no, not defecation-that’s an entirely different animal). I love making fun of myself. Calling myself names and poking fun at my body is how I take life not so seriously. No one wants to be the fat girl who cries about being fat. No.  

There are days I hate my body, days when I find 6,452 things wrong with my appearance. Some days, I check myself out in the mirror and say, “You look pretty alright. Alright, alright”. If I spent as much time as I do on worrying about when my next meal will be, on how I look, I would be a very miserable person. I look to my other strengths when my jeans fit a little too tight, or my new bra gives me back boobs. There has to be more to this life than how I look.   If I cared too much about my appearance, I would be one sad person, because I will definitely never be mistaken for Angelina Jolie. 

And that’s OK. We can’t all have huge breasts, a tiny waist, and Brad Pitt. Some of us look decent in black yoga pants and have even teeth. It isn’t fair, but who ever promised it would be? 

Now that I’ve stated my own personal attempt at “body positivity”, I have to give my opinion on the “Body Positive” movement. 

Wait for it…

I effing hate it. I’m so over it. It’s all about looks and that is not what is most important in life. On the other side, it is nice to feel good about yourself, but at what cost? 

I want to lose weight because I don’t feel healthy, my feet hurt, and yes, I want to look good naked. So, I don’t really appreciate Tess Holliday and all those other “Body Positive” representatives telling me, “It’s OK you’re fat. Don’t change who you are. Fat is beautiful”. No *holding up stop sign*. 

Please do not give me one more reason to not put down the cupcake and get off my ass. Do not. 

How many women really feel beautiful having unwanted fat? Come the fuck on. That’s not to say someone who is fat isn’t beautiful, or lacks worth because they don’t fit into society’s cookie cutter beauty terms. 

No. 

I’m not saying I am not worthy or not beautiful. What I am saying is I don’t feel beautiful when I can’t find tights for a costume, because “one size fits all” fits up to a size 8. No. And finding tights in the “fat section” doesn’t make me feel any better either. 

Thus, I’m practicing yoga and trying to be a healthier, more beautiful me. 

I have to share a comment on a post that Tess Holliday shared (Her social media posts are becoming more and more negative. Soon, she will just be another hater). This young man was positively attacked for his comment. He was not rude, he was not “fat shaming”, nor was he unreasonable. The pack of wolves who tore him down were vicious. The same women who don’t like people judging them. The same women who don’t like being bullied. 

  The above responses were some of the kinder ones. 

  
  
Just take a moment and let this marinate. 

I’m testing the waters with my opinion on this matter. I don’t want to scare away all of the beautiful people who read my blog, because this is a heated topic, and my opinion is the unpopular one. At the same time, I don’t want to stifle my desire to write about what I’m passionate about. 

So, I’ll just leave it at that, for now. Like just one bite of a cupcake, I’m leaving you with annoyance, dissatisfaction, and wanting. 

Author: fattymccupcakes

Just a thirty-something girl trying to love herself the way she is: fat, rolls, cellulite, and fabulousness.

15 thoughts on “Testing the Waters-“Body Positivity””

  1. Very nice piece, and I’m glad you went there. For the record, I’ve had weight issues of my own, fluctuating over the years, so I’ve been in both “places”. This is a tricky subject, with valid arguments on both sides, but choosing to speak your mind is always the better path…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I think if everyone there was nicer and more accepting of differences. I agree with both- we need to be at a healthy wait (I am overweight, BTW) and we need to feel beautiful from the inside too. I think both of them are promoting good things but the point was a bit overblown, in my opinion. The point is to be accept yourself- healthy or unhealthy- and then go from there. We can’t change if we can’t accept the truth. But we won’t *feel* healthy feelings if we base beauty on how much fat someone has too!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Me too!!! I appreciate the body positive movement in that it’s promoting feeling good in your skin at any size, but I don’t feel good at this size. I won’t even if society changes and says fat is more beautiful than skinny. So, what now? How does one feel good about themselves when they want to change.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve hesitated to comment here. I see both sides of this issue. I think both men and women of all sizes and shapes are beautiful. I don’t think, as a person who has struggled with her weight, that all my worth or confidence should be wrapped up in what the scale says. At the same time, Dr. Facebook has a point. We should try to be as healthy as we can. There’s a fine line between being confident and feeling good about yourself as you are, and saying “fuck it, I’m not even going to try to do any better”. In general, though, a person can be very healthy even while carrying a few extra pounds. By the same token, skinny doesn’t mean healthy, either. EVERYBODY, regardless of their size should be trying to be a better person overall than they were yesterday.

    I see misunderstanding on both sides of that conversation, btw. I think that happens when we can only look through the lens of our own experiences. Those who tore into him didn’t read his entire comment. They only picked out the bits that hurt them and that’s all they could see. He zeroed in on how unhealthy it might be to be too accepting yourself the way you are, as if that in itself were a license to give up on being healthy. I don’t think that’s what either side really meant. The idea of accepting yourself the way you are doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t think you can be a better you. In fact, I’d argue that unless you can love yourself as you are today you can’t be totally honest with yourself about what needs to change.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wonderfully said! I see both sides as well. I am hesitant to completely disown the idea of “body positivity” because we should all find worth in ourselves regardless of what the scale says, but we should never give up on improving ourselves. I can see how Tess’ message may be confusing to some who previously wanted to lose weight.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sure much of the vitriol in the comments is really just a carryover of the hurt and humiliation that was bestowed upon them by society for the crime of being overweight.

    People can be cruel. And those past hurts make it difficult to hear comments like this in a rational, logical manner.

    On a side note, it’s easier to lose weight/better yourself when you feel GOOD about yourself vs when you hate yourself and want to punish the body you’re forced to live in.

    But then, I have food issues. Intellectually I know no doctor will tell me to lose weight – but I can’t see anything but wobbly thighs, wide hips, and a stomach of bread dough. I wish I had the ability to love the body I live in. I wish I had a fraction of Tess’s confidence.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment. I’m certain their comments come from a deep place where pain resides. I just hate witnessing such blatant hypocrisy. These girls were likely bullied and made fun of. Why be a bully when you know what it’s like? I was made fun of. I was bullied. Why do I only see the common sense in his post? Why do I not feel outrage over those kind of comments?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Seriously – I’m with ya. It’s probably attacking those who bullied THEM – when they were 6, they had no witty comeback.

        Kind of when you think of the PERFECT thing to say, thirty years later….

        Liked by 1 person

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