Because I am starting this new and improved Fatty McCupcakes Lifestyle, I’ve decided to be unrelentingly annoying about it. Why? Because eating healthier, food prepping, planning, and actively deciding to not eat all the cupcakes is hard. It sucks. So, I’m here to bring it to you real-like. No sugar-coating, no building myself up to be this super human who can do it all, because I can’t and I won’t.
Back in 2008, I decided enough was enough. After a year of being depressed that I was living in a tiny cow town, far from everything I loved (namely TCBY), so I ate McDonald’s at 2 AM, on the regular, I started Weight Watchers.
I followed it to perfection. This was before everyone was obsessed with eating “clean” and everything gave you cancer. I ate fresh vegetables and fruits, yes, but I also ate the shit out of 100-calorie snack packs and low fat Pringles. It was all in my point allowance. It satisfied my cravings. It helped me to not indulge too much. The food plan I followed and choices I made helped me to lose 40+ pounds in 5 months. I did minimal exercising and I rarely felt deprived.
I maintained my weight loss for roughly 3 years.
It was not until I decided to get on the deprivation diet band wagon that I started gaining weight again. It was a vicious cycle of eating no gluten or no carbs and then crashing and burning because ain’t no one can live too long without a damn cookie (or 5).
I’m no nutritionist or food expert, but take it from someone who’s tried every diet there is in Diet Universe, deprivation diets do.not.work.
If someone can prove me wrong, with credible proof (and I’m talking time and date stamped video diaries, verified pictures, and an oath in blood) that they were/are able to abstain from all things naughty, to eat only pure, clean, organic foods all the time, everyday, 24/7, I’ll retract my statement. Until then, I’ll continue working on a food plan that allows for controlled cheats.
What I know to work is as follows:
- Weigh and measure food to control overeating.
- Keep a food diary, count calories, track Weight Watchers points, whatever. It may be annoying and/or time consuming, but I can guarantee if you don’t track what you put into your gob, you will eat more than you think you are eating.
- Eat carbs, just not 5 servings in one sitting.
- Eat sugar, but substitute some of that sugar for fresh fruit.
- Abstain from any kind of soda.
- Plan ahead, especially your snacks, or that candy bar in the impulse section of the grocery store will have your name on it.
- You can get your protein from eggs, milk, and meats-you don’t have to spend big money on protein powders.
- Drink water, and then drink more water-sometimes hunger is really thirst.
- Chew a stick of sugar free gum when the cravings hit.
- Put your food on a smaller plate or bowl to trick your mind.
- Minimize eating fried foods.
- Use EVOO instead of butter when cooking.
- Go to town on “clear” condiments that aren’t creamy (barbecue sauce, ketchup, etc.)
- Buy “diet” ice cream and enjoy every bite of your 1/2 cup serving.
- Eat as “clean” as your budget, time, and patience allows.
I will reiterate, I’m no food expert. I’m a fat baked goods addict. The above suggestions have not been evaluated by the FDA and all that shit, but I know it worked for me.
In the middle of food prepping, I discovered that a package of raw chicken had leaked into the meat drawer. After rinsing off, throwing away, washing out, and lots o’ cussing, I had egg cups, cucumber, tomato, and avocado salad, and hard-boiled eggs for the week prepped and stored. My bathroom is still a bio hazard, my eye is twitching, and I am a sweaty mess, but my food is ready, dammit!
We will see how long food prepping lasts in this house. Either way, I am going to continue tracking my points and making better food choices, because my health depends on it.