Plenty of Freaks and OK Nope

Hey guys. It’s been a minute, but I’m back. I know those who know me are anxiously awaiting my aerial yoga post. Yes, I went to a type of yoga that requires upper body and ab strength, agility, and gracefulness-all of which I do not have. Wait for it. It’s coming, and it’ll be good. 

For now, I must discuss the state of the single-and-dating-world, as that is where I am firmly planted. For now. 

OMG, ya’ll. It’s fucking terrifying. 

Like, so scary. So.scary. 

OMG. 

Remember when I said I was going to share a new personal challenge with you? Well, I’ve already begun miserably failing at it. I’m just a fucking rockstar at life. 

I was going to challenge myself to a year of being single. It’s what everyone is saying I need. So, it must be what I need. I see the value in figuring out who I am as a single person before I jump back into a relationship. I see how giving myself a significant amount of time to heal is a smart thing. I get it. But, as with all things easier said than done. 

Literally two days after I posted that I would be challenging myself to something pretty hardcore, I signed up for Plenty of Fish. 

This kind of erratic, bipolar-esque behavior explains a lot in my life.

I’m now on Plenty of Fish and OK Cupid. 

Help me. 

If the majority of the men I’ve been contacted by and interacted with thus far is any indication of how my dating life will go, I’ll be single for a hell of a lot longer than a year. 

I don’t even have the words to fully express my horror/disdain/disappointment, so I’ll just share a few screenshots. I didn’t get the idea to write on this topic before I deleted many a message, so just know, these are just the fucking tip of the iceberg. 

Please share in my pain:


Now, obviously this dude just wants a night of fun. Maybe some woman out there wants one too. Nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is that he “wood” really like me to watch him in a “golf tournament”. Also, not one period or comma. Not.a.one.


When “wanna hang out” doesn’t work, just let it go. Where’s your dignity, man?!


Damn*

Nope.

This one was actually kind of sweet, but please don’t let me know you’re well-endowed in your very first message. And, as a teacher, I’m appalled at the lack of punctuation. The horror!! 


This one…I don’t even…I can’t. I just…have no words. 


Gross. 

OK, the jig is up, ladies. Who’s responding to these sick, macho, sexist, ignorant, and just plain gross “pick up lines”? Obviously, these men think this crap works. There are two possible explanations:

1: It works at least once. I need to find these women to slap some fucking common sense into them, if even possible. 

2: They are truly mentally handicapped, ignorant by choice, or they were taught this is how you pick up women. 

Either way, I’m terrified. I think I’m back to working on my challenge. A life being the crazy cat lady who smells of cans of Whiskas and Bengay isn’t looking so terrible. 


Author: fattymccupcakes

Just a thirty-something girl trying to love herself the way she is: fat, rolls, cellulite, and fabulousness.

41 thoughts on “Plenty of Freaks and OK Nope”

  1. I have been on BOTH those sites and I fully agree! And it’s much worse if you are living in a small town with only other small towns around you for at least a 45 minute drive. It’s insane. One guy we kinda started to click, I was a supply teacher at his son’s school, he seemed normal at the time. Then he kept asking me to wear pantyhose…like ummm no? First of all I hate them and second of all I hate them! The last message he ever sent me was “you’ll like them for me” Never replied after that….. then there was the one who had our three children named after 48 hours…..

    Liked by 1 person

      1. So creepy!! I was on the sites for about a year, connected with a few interesting people, only one “perfect match” but never actually met anyone in person. The “perfect match” decided that tattoos were a deal breaker. Or perhaps it was a combination of exchanging photos and tattoos? Who knows…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. yeah eventually I did. but then a few months later I had moved 13,000km away so it wasn’t really practical to keep them anymore haha! I do have some good stats though: my ex-bff met her now husband on POF, and my close friend just got married in April to a guy she met off of ok cupid πŸ™‚ so it IS possible!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Absolutely nailed it! Hit it on the head and it honestly makes me wonder how these guys get away with it.
    Who could actually ever fall for these disgusting specimens is beyond understanding. They are NOT how all men work but my god you have to sort through a LOAD of chaff to find one reasonable ear of corn…..
    Good luck Katie x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love this! This was literally my life exactly 2 years ago. I was single, as in no serious boyfriend, all throughout college. I would have serious stress about being single! My parents would always tell me that once I figured myself out and became truly independent, at that point I would then find someone. Well…I moved out of the house and life wasn’t happening fast enough for me so I joined Tinder. I did it because I lived by myself at the time and let’s be honest, I just needed a few laughs every day. I was getting the EXACT same messages from these guys!! *now enter prince charming*. About 2 years ago I met my now boyfriend on Tinder. I refused to actually meet up with him in person because I thought he would be like every other guy on there and be a complete douchebag. I was so wrong. There are genuine and nice guys on these sites every once in a great while.

    I love the idea of challenging yourself to a year of being single. Just remember being single doesn’t mean you can date. Going on dates with different people will help build who you are as a person. Help you realize what you do and do not want in a relationship! You can still go a year being exclusively single, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun along the way!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post!! I just reading your post and I applaud your idea to be single for a year. I hear about all these crazy interactions on the various dating sites. Man, keep the stories coming. You know I can’t do it myself since I’m married and there is no way my wife would let me join one. Ha ha! Even if it was for laughs! Anyway, I think a lot of guys act like d-bags on those sites because they are playing the odds and just trying to score.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha yeah I don’t think your wife, or ANY wife would like that too much. Yeah, I’m most are just hoping to score, but they make up the majority of the men on there! 😩😱😩😱😩

      Like

  5. This is so funny, these guys have a loooong way to go. What I also find amusing is that you’re likely to reject a guy for his grammar or lack of punctuation.
    P.S. I think the ‘wood’ in the first one was a deliberate pun!
    Good to see ya! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ah…memories….

    I actually used POF years ago…and I met a variety of really interesting people that I would not have met in real life. Nice guys, not a match, but interesting to date for no specified end-goal.

    It’s like the radio. Mostly static and lots of annoying crap you don’t call music….but occasionally you land on a decent tune before it’s over. But if a song you don’t know doesn’t instantly repulse you, give it a listen….you might not buy it, but that’s OK.

    I actually met the hubs on POF. He said that he found me in the FREE box at a yard sale. LMAO

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ugh, I am not really shocked as these are some of the types of messages I get on social media sometimes. So annoying and I also wonder how they think they will get a positive response from that. Maybe it’s a way of reminding you to stick to your single for one year goal lol

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Haha “dating as an adult is like going to the dump and looking for the least broken and disgusting thing”. That made me chuckle, because, it’s kind of true in a way. I can totally relate to this post, as a serial Tinderella myself. Good luck with your single quest though – us gals have got to stick together!

    Liked by 1 person

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