How to Know Your Brain Is Going

I think I can post this, as I can already relate perfectly well.

Source
Guys, I’m a little worried my brain is going. I think I need to download one of those apps that keeps your brain strong to prevent dementia. 

Today, we were 12 hours (and 10 minutes) early to our movie. 

I still don’t know how it happened. Seriously.

My boyfriend and I love going to the Galaxy luxury theater, because reclining seats. 

Another perk, other than the fact that I can fall asleep in my popcorn, is that you can reserve your seat ahead of time. So, last night, I reserved two seats for the 11:20 showing the next day. 

We got up early, stopped at 7-11 for candy and drinks-i.e. contraband, and when we got to the theater, I got my usual popcorn slicked with that delicious fake butter. 

I realized I didn’t have the confirmation email ready on my phone so we could check in, so we had to step aside and search on my phone for the emailed tickets. 

I couldn’t find the email.

I knew that was no biggie, as all you have to go do is go tell the box office, and they print you your barcode. 

As I sidled up to the counter, juggling my huge popcorn, and trying to hide my bursting purse, that obviously contained outlawed drinks (because who can eat an entire large popcorn with nothing sugary to wash it down with? I’m waiting for the day someone asks me why I’m not buying a drink to go with my mammoth popcorn), I told the young man working that I never got my confirmation email for the movie we were seeing that morning. 

Attendant: What movie are you seeing?

Me: Rogue One, the first showing.

Attendant: Um, you’re a little early. 

Me: Well, I guess, if you mean we’re just in time to see the previews…

Attendant: *blank stare*

Me: So, how do we get the little printout so we can get into the movie? 

Attendant: What time was the showing you purchased? 

Me: 11:20, and now I’m not going to be able to check in on Yelp before the previews start. 

Attendant: Uh. We don’t have a showing at 11:20 this morning. 

Boyfriend: Yes, you do. It’s right up there on the board. 

Attendant: That’s PM. That’s tonight. 

*Two dumbasses, slowly realizing they fucked up, just staring, open mouthed*

Attendant: What’s your name?

Me: Fatty Cake. Two words (just kidding, I gave my real name).

Attendant: Yup, you have tickets for the showing tonight at 11:20.

Me: Well, damn.

After it was all said and done, we got the movie switched to a more reasonable hour for tomorrow. 

After feeling like total tools, we left, grumbling about, “Who goes to a movie at 11:20 at night?!” 

I mean, really. That’s how I messed up when ordering. My geriatric mind couldn’t even fathom that the showing would be at 11:20 PM. 11:20 AM is a far more reasonable time to see a movie. I fall asleep during movies in the middle of the day. If I even attempted to see a movie that late, I’d be kicked out for snoring and drooling all over the leather seats. 

So, in conclusion, we have decided that Galaxy needs to put freaking AM and PM after all of the show times. 

I’m officially now that old person who needs special accommodation so that I don’t get confused by the technology. 

Happy New Year, folks! By the looks of it, this one’ll be a dandy for me! 

When you fuck up your old-person-early-movie time, you go get donuts to eat with your cold movie popcorn.

Author: fattymccupcakes

Just a thirty-something girl trying to love herself the way she is: fat, rolls, cellulite, and fabulousness.

50 thoughts on “How to Know Your Brain Is Going”

  1. Okay, first of all, what the hell with not delineating AM and PM on the ticket? I mean, seriously, what the hell? Military time, people, computers love that shit. Use it.

    Second of all, nah, you’re fine. You’re not losing your mind. There’;s a quick test that will put your worries to rest in about fifteen seconds. 1. Did you vote for Trump? If no, then you’re fine, continue. If yes, immediately relinquish your driver’s license, passport, and self-respect. It’ll save time.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Um…you also used “right” for “write” but I didn’t catch that, either, until today’s first cup of coffee. (sigh)

        2017 is off to a fucking rollicking good start; I hope my plans for world domination go better than THIS.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I was literally laughing out loud so hard from reading this that my husband called over from the other room to ask what was so funny. I am such an old person already it’s not even funny. I’m like “5 PM? Time for a nightcap and the evening news!”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m SO glad I’m not the only one who would mess that up! It’s time for me to pay more attention, or complain to the theater that their website was hard to understand. Egads!! When did I become this person?! πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. There’s a theater in our local area that showed Rogue One around the clock for the first weekend it came out. So showings started at midnight, 3AM, 6AM, 9AM, etc. All around the clock. I couldn’t even fathom it. Long gone are my days of half naked in body paint midnight Rocky Horror movies.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. HA! This is pure gold and I also feel I’d do this one day! Don’t you just love movie popcorn? It never tastes like the store bought “movie theater butter” which is why they probably do so well. Hopefully you kept the snacks for the next day.

    Leah

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ha ha ha ha ha! I’m laughing but inside, I’m crying because I’m damn sure I’ve done something similar… like returning to school when it was still school holidays. Now that MAY have been ahem 30 *cough* years ago, so you can imagine how scary things are now. Ha ha ha ha ha!

    Liked by 1 person

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