For Shame 

Disclaimer: If you normally read my blog for its satire and humor content, and you aren’t a fan of rants OR you don’t want your fabulous opinion of me to possibly change, maybe skip this one. 

If you ain’t scurred, then read on. 

Last night, I RSVP’d “maybe” to the Reno Women’s March on Washington happening on the 21st. I think it’s pretty darn awesome that women (and men) are assembling to demonstrate their support for Planned Parenthood, BLM, the LGBTQ community, NoDAPL, and many other worthy causes. I mean, rock on! Right?!

I want it to be made amply clear that I’m a supporter of all human kind. I do my best to not discriminate and to accept all people from all walks of life. Whenever I discover a stereotype I might have, I do my best to learn as much as I can about what I believe, what I think, and what more I can learn about what I am misunderstanding. 

I also want to express that I do not get into politics on my blog. There is enough of that all over social media. It’s quite literally thrown into our faces on a daily basis. I like to think that my blog and what I write about transcends the negativity of reality. My blog is about reality, but the kind of reality that is fun to laugh at.

I’m not even going to go into who I voted for or what I believe about the state of our world in that respect. I want all people of any political affliation (my phone autocorrected that to ‘affliction’. I wonder if that has some hidden meaning?) to be welcome here. I don’t want to get into politics, because it tarnishes what I intend to do here-create a space where people can relate and laugh about real life “fuck me” experiences. So, I’m not getting into politics. 


What I do intend to do in this post is express my disdain for the overused idea of shaming. In looking up the exact definition of ‘shaming’, I found that there isn’t a classical definition for the exact word ‘shaming’. This word or idea is a derivation of ‘shame’. 

Google defines shame as:

A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.

In recent years we’ve practically changed the meaning of this word to mean:

Being made to feel inadequate or less than for something you can’t help or for just fucking being who you are.

Shame is now an action and is inflicted upon victims by people for varied reasons, instead of being an emotion born internally. 

Shaming is bad. I.e. Fat Shaming, Slut Shaming, Mom Shaming, Food Shaming, Feelings Shaming, and on and on. 

The last two types of shaming I listed came from Wanderlust Magazine. So, no, I’m not making those up. 

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not OK to make people feel bad just because it makes you feel better. That’s terrible behavior, and if you behave that way, you’re the problem. 

However, we are overusing and abusing the idea of shaming. 

Why I previously mentioned the march in my post was because I was creeping on the discussions on the event page, because I knew there’d be some drama found there (I only read news articles on Facebook for the entertaining drama that always surfaces in the comments), and, huzzah! There were 118 comments on a post someone made on the page. 

I tried to find said post this morning, but I either grew distracted trying to find it or it was removed. 

The woman (I believe one of the march organizers) who wrote the post said something about it being a good idea to leave kids and strollers home if attending the march. 

This created huge backlash. 

This one woman went on and on and on about how she was being “shamed” as a mother for wanting to bring her kids. 

As I read her comments, that got more and more pretentious, I wanted to puke all over what she was saying (where’s the puke option for posts?). 

Nowhere. Nowhere did anyone shame this woman in the comments. 

This woman cried shaming over a kindly worded suggestion. 


Seriously, not everything is shaming. Not everything someone says that you don’t agree with is fucking shaming. 


In fact, I believe that a certain amount of shame helps us learn how to not be disrespectful assholes. 

That whiny woman could have ignored the comment, and continued with her plans to bring her kids, and all would have been fine. 

Free speech and the ability to speak our minds is an important right, but when you don’t use your brain, your free speech just comes off as unintelligent sniveling. 

I’ve decided I don’t really want to march with people who feel entitled to believe that anyone who doesn’t agree with them is “shaming” them. 

No, not all of the people marching for these important causes is like that woman. But, I know there will be more of them there. How could I possibly spot them in a huge crowd of people? They’ll be the ones asking random people if there will be a participation trophy for attending the march. 

Nah. I’m good.

I’ll just fight the good fight by growing some lady balls so I don’t mistake disagreement for shaming.



Source for featured image. 

Author: fattymccupcakes

Just a thirty-something girl trying to love herself the way she is: fat, rolls, cellulite, and fabulousness.

41 thoughts on “For Shame ”

  1. I read someone’s blog the other day and it was about dressing modestly. Well written but it suggested that your chances of getting raped would be less if you didn’t dress like a ‘ho. There was more than an element of shaming there and I will continue to wear inappropriate clothing until I can’t be bothered. I agree with the lady who suggested not to bring babies and strollers – what if it becomes riotous from opposing parties and then dangerous?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I don’t agree with the idea that if you’re scantily clad it’s your fault or your chances are higher that you’ll he raped. That’s definitely closer to shaming. However, yes the woman who was being “shamed” took offense instead of just taking what the lady said as a suggestion. I agree, it could get dangerous!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am thinking of writing a blog about the theory that how you are dressed should in some way mitigate a sexual assault. What is more useful is to teach young women and men who to defend themselves against any attack and how not to be a victim. Our President to be is giving a very poor example of reacting with venom when criticized but that is a whole other blog… 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Reno as in Nevada? If so, get out of town (not literally, just using the slang LOL), I’m from Reno. Born and raised, though I moved about 10 years ago to another state. All my family still lives there, though. On another note, I agree that the word is getting thrown around. I’ve seen it in other types of comments in different groups. People can just make you want to shake your head, can’t they?

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.