Being a Blogger-Bitch Sesh

They have a point…

Source
When I decided to start my second blog, I promised myself that I wouldn’t get obsessed with followers and ‘likes’. I didn’t want it to be about that-the competive rat race to get as many ‘likes’ and followers as possible. Writing is my passion and I feel whole when I’m actively engaging in my passions. I don’t feel good being a how-many-people-are-following-me-whore. 
But, let’s be real. A huge part of blogging is attaining followers and garnering ‘likes’ on your blog and across all social media. The more ‘likes’ and shares the more your content is read. 

It’s just how it is. 

Part of growing a blog is giving as much, if not more, than you are receiving. Just like in a healthy relationship, it’s all about an organic balance between the give and take. 

Over the last, almost two years, I have developed relationships with amazing bloggers and people via WordPress. The talent out there is beautifully, abundantly full. It’s inspiring to read and interact with other blogs and bloggers. 

So, it really burns my bitchy biscuits when I spend my rare free time to interact with other bloggers’ content and they don’t reciprocate. 

Don’t.be.an.asshole.

It’s all about the give and take, people. If you want other bloggers to read your blog, read theirs. At the very least, give them a ‘like’. If you’re on the reader, it couldn’t be simpler to do this. 

Like, really. 

Another thing that kills me (since we’re being honest) is the amount of blogs out there that merely contain post after post of stock photos with quotes that may or may not belong to the blogger. 

These blogs sometimes get loads of attention. You stole content from someone else, and that’s what people ‘like’? 

Figures.

The bloggers I adore the most are those who you can tell spent time, energy, heart on what they post. 

I’m sharing some of my favorites, because it’s been too long since I last did this and these fabulous writers and bloggers deserve the attention and praise:

Charlotte Graham 

Kate 

No Love For Fatties

Stephanie 

When I Thought I Was Fat

I Will Not Live In Vain

Deb

The Revenge Wogger

Donkey Bytes

The Gay Stepdad 

Suzie Speaks 

The Shameful Sheep

Soul Gifts

I am so sorry if I forgot anyone. I went through my email and used the most recent posts from blogs I follow to find the blog addresses of the blogs above. Please let me know if we interact frequently on WordPress and I failed to list you here. I’ll make it up to you. 

Despite the hard work it is to gain legit followers, I think the hardest part of being a blogger is finding the balance between sharing your work on social media in a refrained it’s-cool-if-you-want-to-read-my-post-also-cool-if-you -don’t and being way too in everyone’s face about it. 

Because of this, I rarely remember to post on my Fatty McCupcakes Facebook page and Instagram. I do not want to be that person who people unfollow on every social media site for being way too overbearing and pushy. 

With that said, another one of my blogging annoyances is the lack of support from people you would think should be more supportive. 

I read an article awhile back about the struggles most budding writers face, and one of the biggest ones was the fact that you won’t always have the support of your close friends and family. Whether it’s because your content is disagreeable to the people you know, they don’t understand how to access your writing, or they simply don’t have the time or don’t care, it’s never fun to not be supported. 

I’m lucky that so many of my family and friends actively read my blog and support me in any way they can, but the absence of some makes me wonder. I know it shouldn’t matter, but it does. It does. 

I also wonder how I can have 400 some Facebook friends and not even 200 likes on my blog page. How hard is it to hit ‘like’? I’m not selling you something. I don’t bombard your feed with annoying, repetitive garbage. I don’t pester you for attention. 

So, what gives? 

These are just some of my personal struggles and annoyances that come with being a blogger. 

What are some of yours? I’d love to hear! 

 

Author: fattymccupcakes

Just a thirty-something girl trying to love herself the way she is: fat, rolls, cellulite, and fabulousness.

114 thoughts on “Being a Blogger-Bitch Sesh”

    1. Hahaha!! Do you know if you’re following it? Down at the bottom of the post there should be a like button. It’s much easier to ‘like’ when you’re following. Thank you, lady!! 😜😘

      Like

    1. Right?! I’ve noticed that before too!! Likely, they are just going down the WP reader and ‘liking’ all of them. I don’t like to do that until I’m ready to read the entire thing. Then, I always like to leave a meaningful comment that shows I actually read it 😜

      Liked by 3 people

  1. You’ve hit the nail on the head for the struggles I have with blogging.., and some of these points have been brought up by one of my fave bloggers, Paul e Bailey, in the past as well (especially the posting unoriginal content and non reciprocal behaviour and the friends not giving even one damn as far as liking the fb page) a lot of us feel this way I think! It also sucks there have been some bloggers I’ve communicated a lot with in the past that have fallen silent… ok so they’re not as active anymore, but they’ll post once in a blue moon and then not respond to or like any comments anymore … it’s frustrating! At least acknowledge that someone took the time to read your stuff and comment people!! Gosh! Oh and PS thanks for the shout out! ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do the SAME thing!! Believe me, we all struggle with getting around to reading bloggers we follow! My method is to not click on the email, so I know I haven’t read it yet, but sometimes it gets clicked on so it looks like I read it, then I forget!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, yes, and YES. I personally got into blogging for the community. I will take five followers who comment and respond than 100 followers who are invisible! I’ve gone out of my way to comment on newer blogs, and they can’t take .20 seconds to even like my comment or recognise that I’ve put time and thought into reading their post? It really sours the community aspect of blogging. I’ve also stopped interacting with Community Pool for the same reasons.

    As for friends and family, I do hate that I’ve liked countless party-sales pages, retail pages, investment pages, and how many other random pages to support people and literally every person I’ve invited to like my page (save for 2 out of the 100) has ignored or deleted my request. I specifically do not sell anything, making it hard to understand or grapple with with.

    What is the world?? Love your blog, your posts make my day!! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m SO GLAD I’m not alone in this! Yes, I’ve been re-evaluating who I am spending my time on lately and it’s amazing to me how many newer bloggers haven’t taken the time to check out my blog after I’ve devoted quite a bit of time on them. Maybe they’re supporting other blogs or they’re not, but they may soon realize that it won’t behoove them to not pay it back. Thank you!!! I love your blog and I’m glad I was able to find you via Charlotte. I think that’s how I started following you, anyway πŸ˜‚

      Like

    2. Also, yup, how hard is it to ‘like’ a blog page?! We don’t sell crap or force things down people’s throats. If I had a penny for how many LuLaRoe groups and business pages I’ve liked and joined, I’d be making some real bank. *sigh*

      Like

  3. So true – I try my hardest to read, visit, comment, like, leave a smiley face as much as possible – I just run out of hours in the day! Thank you sooo much for adding me to your list. Appreciate it heaps πŸ™‚ There are some new blogs on there I will have to take time to visit.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are sooo right! I have no blogging structure I feel. I struggle to find the time to write posts without 50 typos and read all my favorite bloggers. Thank God tonight, as my children are entertaining themselves for once in their lives, I am catching up on everyone’s lives. I need to find more time. I think I’ll give the boys up for adoption. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yay, thanks for the shout! It doesn’t surprise me that we have a lot of the same favorites. Thanks for adding me to your list – you are definitely on mine. I’m always scared to post a list because I’m afraid of leaving out someone important and having them hate me afterwards. I share the same frustrations – I spend HOURS reading blogs a day. I prefer doing it over reading traditional books. The worst thing is when you find someone new and you get excited, formulate a well thought out comment, and wait for a reply that never comes. I try my hardest to reply to every comment, even if I can only come up with a smiley face lol. I’m going to go down your list and check out the ones I’ve never read before πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was SO SCARED to post that list 😱. That’s why I added that little disclaimer πŸ˜‚. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I read so many amazing blogs that sometimes I just lose track. I totally relate about finding someone new, getting, excited, and then being disappointed. I recently followed someone like that. I was SO EXCITED for her content, but there’s like almost no communication. Like, wtf?! You have this amazingly interesting content, but you don’t relate whatsoever to your followers. It’s disappointing to say the least! Love ya, lady!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. The problem with cultivating a following – is success. The more people who read your blog and interact with you, means that, if you are polite and have good manners, there are more people that you have to spend your time and attention on. At some point, you start feeling guilty. It’s like…I am neglecting all these wonderful people and great writers and that makes me feel like………

    All you can do is realize that giving of yourself, first and foremost, means writing as well as you can and rewarding people who show up on your blog with a few minutes of enjoyment.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I also write for fun rather than followers. It can be really disheartening though when the only saddo reading your posts is yourself! I actually find myself being embarrassed to share my blog with my friends and people that know me IRL. I don’t care what a bunch of randos think about my latest post but I do care what Janet from the accounting department thinks about me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You kill me!! Yes, I agree, it can be really scary to share something so important and personal with the people we care about the most! It’s weird, I kinda do care what randos think!! Is that bad??? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜©

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Love this post. It really speaks to me. I know for a fact I need to get out there more and interact with people and I really do try. When I first started blogging I did get a bit caught up with the ‘likes’ and then I found that me wasn’t really coming through in my writing. Now I do it more for the writing and I feel like I’m getting better. Thanks for a reality check πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘πŸ»

    Liked by 1 person

  9. You’ve hit then nail on the head with this honest post! Everything I’d like to say but don’t for whatever reason. I love the first graphic about diaries and blogging – it’s so true!! I am trying to get more confident with comments and following other bloggers this year and am so glad I found your blog. I get what you mean about Facebook and social media – I have my own blog Facebook page but feel bad posting links to my blogs as I feel like I’m constantly pushing to get people to read them so I usually only post every second or third post. I deliberately set up a separate page so that my personal page doesn’t get swamped with blog posts but not all my friends have followed it despite invites. As you say we’re not selling anything, it’s just us being creative and sharing…. Anyway I really enjoyed your post and agree with everything you say πŸ™‚ Keep up the good work.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m blown away by how many people are relating. I’m glad we aren’t alone! It’s so hard for me to not say something on FB, because I feel like it’s to the point where it’s rude that people I call friend enough to be on my Facebook can’t even like my page. Like, it’s not hard. I don’t get it! Gah!!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. So much truth in this. I wonder a lot about the non-reciprocity bit. I spend a lot of time commenting and liking on the blogs I like and being a good “blog hopper” – sometimes that goes brilliantly. And sometimes I get crickets. Blogland, like the rest of the world, can be an odd place. I land on just doing what I enjoy and hoping I find those who enjoy it as well.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I go back and forth on that beef. If I’m doing a blog hop and dutifully spend a lot of time commenting on other bloggers posts re: whatever the themed post for the week is and get nothing back – yeah, that annoys me. Because I figure the point of posting to a hop is to share.

        For the bloggers I follow regularly and who follow me back, I figure sometimes they post stuff I’m interested in and sometimes they don’t. So I comment and interact when what they post resonates with me. In the same way with those who follow me, as a “non-niche” blogger, sometimes I post something that they can connect with and sometimes I don’t. Sure, I’m disappointed when I post to crickets – but overall, my blogging is about me, so while I obviously don’t love it, I’m okay with it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Definitely. However, if someone takes the time to comment on my blog, I really try to comment back. Unless it’s like an emoji reacting to something I’ve responded to already, I ALWAYS respond. It’s such a struggle though!

        Like

      3. I think your approach is a great practice -and when you don’t because, well, there aren’t enough hours in a day, it’s forgivable if you are generally a good blog peep (I hope, anyway – because that’s me).

        Liked by 1 person

  11. I know we’ve already talked about this, but reading your post on it has my fire lit even more! For family and friends not to be supportive sucks, but somehow the whole bloggers-not-giving-back-to-other-bloggers thing is what really grinds my gears. I recently unfollowed a girl because of her blatant rudeness with ignoring all my (kind) comments. She only (I know I shouldn’t say “only” but still) had like 50 followers, so it’s not like there was a legit reason. I gave it a few weeks, because, ya know, maybe she’s busy? But nope. Just rude and ungrateful. Urgh!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Thank you for the mention! You blogs is one of my favorites. I absolutely love your writing and content. I feel the same way on many of your points. I get way more support from friends than my family. Then I get stuck also in the conundrum of I want more support from my family with my blog but I am holding back what I need to say about them. It is times like right now I wish they didn’t know I have one ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. So, I follow you via email, and when I hit “LIKE” at the bottom of your email post, it redirects me to the wordpress website, where I am unable to find the “LIKE” button. I’m not saying that this is everyone’s issue, but it is mine. And I read every one of your posts.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I just went through and followed them all!

    To me it seems so difficult to build a follower/following base of people that are engaging to follow and actually interact. It can also feel rare sometimes, especially when you’re first getting started, to find people to follow that make posts that you look forward to reading.

    As far as my struggles with my own blog, it can feel difficult to decide what to post. I don’t really have a “theme” to what I blog about, so it’s hard to stay consistent and know what people will want to read.

    Any advice is appreciated!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!! It’s so hard! You’re definitely not alone! You WILL find really great people who love to interact and write great posts. I think having a theme makes it easier, but it’s definitely not necessary. I have a “theme” in the sense of this-is-my-specialty, but I don’t always stick to it. I think the most important thing to be consistent with is quality, meaning grammar/spelling and just overall quality of writing. No matter what you write about, write with conviction and always reread for mistakes. I hope that helps and didn’t come off too preachy.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It definitely helps!!! Not preachy at all πŸ™‚ My favorite thing to write about is definitely traveling, but I don’t get to do it often enough that I could base my whole blog off of it. 😦 It ends up being a lot of random posts about my life, food and advice that I can give based on my own mistakes. I don’t have enough of a following yet that I have a way of knowing which type of posts people like most, so it ends up being a lot of things.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s SO my struggle! I’d LOVE to be a travel blogger, but, alas, I chose teaching as my career. #foreverbroke
        You’d be surprised, people love reading about other people’s lives. I know I do. Write about what speaks to you. Add tags to your posts. Reach out to other bloggers. Utilize social media as best you can. They will come.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Thanks so much for the shoutout! I really need to get back to it….I’m currently catching up from being 4 weeks behind. I’m only back like a week now and hopefully will find the mental oomph to actually WRITE soon.

    Hugs, love and sprinkles!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh and I agree with this all 100%. I only have one family member who I’ve told about my blog, and only a few FB friends….so I don’t really “publicize” it much. I’d love to do more but with FT work and a commute and kids, sometimes it’s “do I want to eat or sleep today”, not “when can I write?”

      Liked by 1 person

  16. burns my bitchy biscuits. LOL, out made my Diet Pepsi shoot out my nose. I couldn’t agree more with this post, I was having issues with my email and asked my BFF to go through the subscription process. I told her not to worry, I’ll unsub her. When I asked how the process went she said, I used a fake email address. I was like, are you friggen kidding me. She couldn’t even support me enough to go through a process or even read one word on my blog. I blog for fun, not for followers. Anyway… I’m gonna check out the bloggers you have listed because I’m having a really hard time finding anyone good to read. I’m glad I stumbled upon you.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. I can totally relate! I have just recently started my blog, and like many others, it was just a creative space for me to write and explore. I haven’t created a Facebook page yet, but the thought has crossed my mind. And now my google search often includes ‘how to get more traffic to your blog’.! Lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love your blog name! Introverts FTW! Yeah, it’s HARD. I won’t lie. It’s taken me nearly two years so grow almost 600 WP followers. Don’t let that discourage you, though. If you really love to write, you’ll make it!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. OMG (and I don’t even believe in “G”!), these could have been my words. Well, actually, they are exactly my thoughts! And, I couldn’t have put it in words as nail-on-the-head-like as you did, even if I tried. From beginning to end… the reason of my 2nd blog (which is now my main one) and the hopes and disappointments, the annoyance of not getting comments or likes back (even posted something about that on the IWSG Facebook page recently, if you are familiar with this amazing writer support group) and the same realization between my personal and blog pages on Facebook. It is all so time-consuming and I know the whole social media chebang I s give and take, but sometimes, I do wonder whether it wouldn’t be better to focus on, say writing my memoir… Anyway, based on the ‘likes’ and comments this post got, no reason to “complain” I would say. Rants are allowed, of course. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve been blown away by the amount of people relating to this particular post. As much as it’s a struggle, it’s nice to know you’re not alone. I know it is challenging, but if you really do enjoy writing, it’s worth it. You should totally start on your memoir. I LOVE reading memoirs. I have not heard of that group. What is it’s full name?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I love writing and have been doing it non-stop for many years. Getting a bit worn out actually, between articles, blogs, diary, notes, thoughts, emails, job application letters, you name it. So, I actually started on my travel memoir over a year ago, but am often distracted. By social media and other more enjoyable pursuits. πŸ™‚ IWSG stands for Insecure Writer’s Support Group. They have an active Facebook page, a website and every first Wednesday of the month, members are encouraged to post a blog about their writing trials and tribulations, successes and tips. That’s when I usually talk about progress (or not) with my memoir on my blog Roaming About – A Life Less Ordinary.

        Liked by 1 person

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