A Day in the Life of Fatty

Taking a cue from one of my most favorite bloggers, Charlotte, I decided to take part in a “photo an hour” post. Of course, this will be a glimpse into the life of a fatty, not a beautiful, professionally photographed portrayal of someone anyone would be envious of.

So, you’ve been warned. 

Today is the perfect day to do this as school was cancelled due to possible flooding. This means that the opportunities to get into some serious fatty predicaments are positively endless.

Let’s see what I ate (did):

My morning started as it always does, fancy-ing up my fat. This morning, however, I got to sleep in as it began as a two hour delayed start! So, this was around 8 AM. 

I was really looking forward to wearing this bad boy to school, but the school district called a “flood day”. I was already dressed, and since my shirt rings true anywhere I go, I kept it on. This was taken around 9 AM as I headed to my favorite coffee/bakery/ultimate temptation shop. 

Because cookies are a perfectly good breakfast food. I was still hanging out, blogging, eating endlessly, and using their WIFI at 10 AM. 

I left around 11, because coffee makes me have to poop. I warned you this was going to get real. 

When I got home, I checked the mail (this is real riveting stuff. Are you at the edge of your seat right about now?). To my delight, the mailbox wasn’t just full of bullshit don’t-bend-card-inside-just-kidding-made-ya-look mail. I got a Valentine from both my mom and my aunt. My mom knows how much my boyfriend and I like vintage stuff, so she sent two adorable cards from what looks like the 50s. 

I decided to take advantage of today’s free day off instead of what I did last time. Last “snow day” I accomplished taking a nap and eating us out of house and home. So, I started the bajillions of laundry loads that always await me on the weekend. Three of those loads are merely comprised of sheets. I.hate.laundry.so.fucking.much. 

Pizza Pringles are what all mature, physically fit, health conscious adult women buy and eat for lunch. (Spoiler alert: I’m not eating a real lunch so that I can be extra hungry for Texas Roadhouse later. An entire cylinder of Pringles is practically nothing). 

I got caught open-mouthed napping. As you can see by the bottom right photo, someone almost got cut. Laundry, bed making, and eating way too many Pringles left me flat-out spent. 

After I was so rudely disturbed during my beauty sleep, I decided to be productive and put the clean dishes away. Can you see that I’m just a walking cliche? 

Because I’ve had Typhoid Fever for a week now, I made myself some delicious herbal tea with Coffeemate coconut-flavored creamer. I know how to make literally anything unhealthy. If you ever need any help with that, I’m your gal! 

At this point in my day, I’m positively famished. Like the fatty geriatrics that we are, we left for dinner at precisely 4:27 PM. My fat pants were practically falling off of me after my agonizing fast. 

What I had dreamed about and waited for all day. There’s really nothing more that needs to be said.

My boyfriend was positively appalled that I would sneak hot, buttered biscuits out in my purse, stuffed inside of a student loan bill. I thought it was entirely apropos and ingenious. 

Just taking a little peek to see if these naughty things want to come out to play. 

And…I think that’s a wrap, folks.

If this taught me anything, it’s that I have a really fucking boring life. I need to start going to the gym or something. Good gracious. 

Author: fattymccupcakes

Just a thirty-something girl trying to love herself the way she is: fat, rolls, cellulite, and fabulousness.

41 thoughts on “A Day in the Life of Fatty”

  1. OK I freaking LOVED this!!! Thank you for the shout out – I am really glad people are getting in on the fun. Today is another day I am documenting with photos. I just love seeing what you are the other people I follow do during the day! Gah, that sounded really creepy. I swear I’m not like hiding in the bushes outside of the homes where people I follow live…

    Also, that pan au chocolate and latte look divine!!! And your shirt is so freaking perfect. And I effing hate laundry too. Especially washing sheets. Why are sheets such a b to wash??

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are my spirit animal, spirit blogger or blogger from a different mutha’. Love you! I’m like ‘Oh my God, I have to poop too after coffee.’ Then I almost melted when you said Texas Roadhouse THEN you show the rolls. Are you kidding me! I took a screenshot of the teacher shirt for all my teacher friends. I’ll probably post on Facebook if you don’t mind?! Where can they find that shirt?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love your ‘boring’ life. It is fantastic! You should share it more often. I sleep with my mouth open too when I doze off for an afternoon snooze. How often do you have flood days and cancel school? I was a bit envious of that…I wish I could have slept in today, but I bet it is not as pleasant as I imagine.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Is that a pain au chocolat for breakfast? Yum! No bathroom there to poop, though, or is that a long process which includes magazine reading and such? πŸ™‚ I recently took home a bunch of mint leaves that were served alongside our pho dishes that we ate out. Yeah… my husband was embarrassed as well, but he did like the mojitos I made with them a few days later!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL!! Yeah, I can’t really get to business in a public restroom, if I have a choice πŸ˜‚. It was actually a savory croissant with mushroom, peppers, and Swiss. It was delightful! HAHA! You took home mint leaves! That’s awesome!

      Liked by 1 person

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