WTF Wednesday #5

Just me and my best friend (not a random dog I borrowed to snap a pic for Instagram).

As many of my followers know, I’m on the hunt for a house. I couldn’t have chosen the absolute worst time to do that, too. It’s a seller’s market in my area, and home prices are climbing to new heights. Homes that would have been right up my monetary alley are not even within reach. 

Probably you’re wondering, “Then, why are you choosing to buy right now, dumbass?”

Well, it’s simple. I’m sick and tired of paying someone else’s mortgage. I’m sick of having to share the communal laundry area in the basement that reeks of weed and stroganoff. I’m sick of forgetting to get quarters to do said laundry. I’m sick of not having a garden I can swear I’m going to use for planting an herb garden, but I’ll likely neglect. I’m sick of not having private outdoor space that I never use, but it’s there if I ever do decide to enjoy some fresh Reno cigarette air. Most of all, I’m sick of not having a dog.

I’ve had more people than is even reasonable who respond to that desire in a way that would insinuate that I’m not “ready” for that responsibility. Maybe they are just putting a really rude spin on the classic, “There, there. It’ll happen in time.” Either way, it pisses me the hell off. 

First, I’m 34-fucking-years-old. Sure, I can’t keep a house plant alive to save my life, but an animal is completely different.

Second, I could have gotten a dog like other irresponsible college kids do when I was young, living in a cramped apartment, and I sometimes couldn’t even afford to feed myself, but I didn’t. I didn’t because I knew that kind of lifestyle and my idiocy was not fair to any animal. 

Third, who are you, the Everything You Could Possibly Know About Dogs expert? Who says you’re the best dog mom/dad ever? I know you feed your dog expired hot dogs and clearance tinned cat food in secret. That organic dog food you made and posted on Instagram happened once. Three years ago. Sit down. 

Lastly, needing/wanting a dog in your life is almost as legit as the need to have a child. It’s all about the biological need for a woman to nurture something. 

Maybe it seems silly to you, but I was born with puppy ovaries. I yearn for a furry, milk-breathed baby. I need something to love and care for. Since I’m not planning on having human children, my desire for a puppy feels legit to me. 

Don’t belittle that desire, because it seems silly to you. 

Might I remind you again that I’m well into my adult years, I am responsible for 20 human lives on a daily basis, and I’m pretty damn dependable. 

Quit acting like I don’t know what kind of huge responsibility it is to have a dog. 

Just stop.

So, the search continues for a non-crack den house that’s crack-den-cheap so I can have a dog. Keep your eyes peeled for my next WTF Wednesday, which will likely be on the myriad options I have for housing (hint: I’m being sarcastic, and most of my options come on wheels).

Tell me: Has anyone made you feel like you were too inept for a dog, or even a houseplant? Let me know in the comments. 

My dog cousin, Pepper. She was cold. See? I know what to do.

Author: fattymccupcakes

Just a thirty-something girl trying to love herself the way she is: fat, rolls, cellulite, and fabulousness.

49 thoughts on “WTF Wednesday #5”

  1. You’ll be the best dog mom ever and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I have my two year old dog Rosa and I think it’s time she gets a brother or sister, my biological clock needs a new puppy too. I’m with you girl. β™‘

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Of course you need a dog! Who doesn’t? I’ve always had at least a dog, sometimes a cat too, for almost as long as I can remember.
    They are loyal, unconditionally loving, fun, playful, make a mess, need potty training, get in the way, demand your attention when you’re busy, always hungry – actually almost like a human kid! I have both. My fur baby stays with me. The others have flown the coop. As I write this, mine is curled up under my desk by my feet, snoring away. But the minute I move she wakes up and follows me. Wherever I go. Even to the loo. She sits between my feet πŸ™‚ I hope you find your home and your puppy real soon !

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You mentioned Reno, have you considered Vegas? I bought a beautiful condo here in Las Vegas and they allow animals. It’s quiet and almost everyone has a dog and or a cat. It even has a pool and jacuzzi. Vegas is not very expensive for housing. Plus if you move here maybe we could become friends. Just a thought

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I just read somewhere that Vegas is cheaper. How can that even be! I think education down there isn’t so fabulous. Also, the heat! Gah! Other than that, it’d be awesome to move down there and be friends!


  4. I wish so badly that the WordPress comment boxes allowed for awesome GIFs, because I’d totally insert a GIF of some sassy person clapping vehemently, saying “AMEN!”

    Girl, I totally know what you mean!! I hate it when you tell someone you’re thinking of getting a dog, and someone says “Well, you know, that’s a big responsibility!” Like really?? And here I was thinking you could just adopt one and forget about it. Silly me! Ugh, people can be seriously so condescending sometimes. And I doubt they even mean it personally, but it still feels that way.

    Good luck with the house!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. UGH, house hunting sucks I feel like prices are creeping up by the day here!!! people tell me all the time I can’t get a fur baby because Im allergic…’I’m like yeah, but look how cute he is, I don’t mind the sneezing, itching and swollen face and difficulty breathing he’s worth it!’
    You get that dog and you show them!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah it’s a bit cheaper up here in Scotland than the south England but still off the chart, and places similar in size that we looked at a month ago are asking almost Β£10k more now…in a month!?!
        Β£200k for a place that doesn’t have enough room to swing a cat…… bad choice of phrase…no wonder I’m not allowed pets!!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh, I’ve had tons of people insinuate that I’m rubbish at being a mom to dogs, kids, cats, rats, hamsters, fish, and plants (okay, I will admit I have a black thumb). The fact that you didn’t cave and get a fuzzy baby when you were in college says that you’re way above the curve when it comes to pet parent awesomeness. Good luck with the housing search – been there, done that far too many times in my 51 years (and even spent over a year and a half in a home with wheels, along with our three kids, hubby, a dog, a cat, a hamster, and one plant). πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I am right there with ya Sista! House hunting in Elko is not any better 😒 But, I will persevere! I am in the same boat- I want a place of my own where I pay my own mortgage, not someone else’s. And I want to paint a wall (or even use nails to hang pictures) or plant flowers that the neighbor kids don’t pick or dig up. I don’t want to share the yard anymore or be scolded for not poop-scooping often enough. I need my own place!

    And I LOVE my dog! He is the best decision I ever made. I was too broke to afford him (I went in halves with my mom 3 years ago) but I truly needed him. He has been the reason I get out of bed in the morning on those days when I didn’t think I could and he never judges when I need a good cry and cuddle! No regrets on the dog!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Are the housing prices just as ghastly there? It’s so depressing to house hunt when you really can’t afford to be doing so. *Le sigh* Your dog is the freaking CUTEST!! You were so lucky to get him!


  8. Being able to have a dog is the best thing about buying your own place. Even better, since you own the joint, you can even have 2 dogs if ya want. Live on the edge! Good luck with your house hunting.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I travel too much for dogs…but as you know I have 3 cats. They’re lazy and overfed, and alone most weekends, but that beats being featured on a Sarah McLachlan sobby-weepy commercial. Right? I mean REALLY. People are dumb.

    I will confess, though, that at my kid’s one-year checkup, I was a little baffled that I had kept her alive better than a houseplant. HAHAHA


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