WTF Wednesdays #11: First World Problems

Let’s face it, when you live somewhere with all of the conveniences, you are bound to encounter a crap ton of inconveniences when those conveniences aren’t up to your own standards. That is just how it is when you live in a first world country. It may sound trivial and entitled to someone living in a less privileged country, because it is. (We’re assholes.) However, that doesn’t make these inconveniences any less annoying.

Behold, first world problems that really piss me off:

  • When my leggings always end up inside out when I pull them out of the dryer. I swear I don’t put them in that way, but they seem to have a personal vendetta against me. It is really inconvenient that I have to spend an extra two minutes turning them right side out again before folding them.
  • When the barista at Starbucks overfills my Frappuccino. Then, when I ask for a napkin for my avalanche of a drink, they look at me like I’m the asshole because I don’t want to decorate my car with extra whip Cinnamon Dolce.
  • When the plastic container my Boston cream pie comes in is like the jaws of life, so when I finally open it, the plastic popping open sounds like gunfire. Sneaking a treat at 3 AM is next to impossible without waking the whole house up in a panic. I was inconvenienced and embarrassed.
  • When my fat makes my underwear roll down inside my leggings. Like, COME ON, underwear. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. 
  • When I realize, after being at home for hours, that my WIFI has been off, and the dozens of puppy and Chris Crocker videos I was watching are going to cost me extra in overage charges. That’s not how it’s supposed to work, universe!
  • When the Starbucks drive thru makes me swipe my own card. You do realize that due to the way you have the card reader positioned, and the fact that it’s a good two feet above my window, I have to take my seatbelt off and strain my arm? Inexcusable. I’m a lazy, fat bastard and that’s why I’m in the drive thru. 
  • When my last bite of something delicious is ruined because I didn’t adequately prepare myself for it to be my last bite. Just take me out back and put me out of my misery. Fuck me.
  • When I buy a tiny piece of coffee cake at Starbucks, thinking it’s probably 8 or 9 Weight Watchers points, but it ends up being 18 effing points. I didn’t end up eating it and that legit ruined my day.

(I think I’m just salty at Starbucks.)

I asked my boyfriend what my latest first world bitchfest has been and he said, after thinking for precisely two seconds, “Hmm. Oh, I know. I love how you’ve been eating an entire tub of Tru Whip at a time for months, saying, “It’s only like 35 calories for 1 Tbsp, so it practically has no calories”, and when you actually calculated the Weight Watchers points and found out an entire tub is like 8,000 points, you were pissy for days!”

Yeah, that was a really sad day. I’m still in mourning.

So, let’s hear it. What are some of your first world problems, pet peeves, and annoyances? Let me know in the comment section!

Author: fattymccupcakes

Just a thirty-something girl trying to love herself the way she is: fat, rolls, cellulite, and fabulousness.

67 thoughts on “WTF Wednesdays #11: First World Problems”

  1. I broke the water reservoir of my Keurig the day before the movers came and my replacement one still hasn’t arrived at the new place and it’s too cold for iced coffee and I don’t want to walk to the apartment lobby and get hot coffee from there because it’s cold and I’m in my pajamas. FUUUUUUUCK!! That’s as hard to deal with as genocide, right?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Starbucks? What about that place can’t be botched about?!? Do yourself a favor. Go to Dunkin Donuts, save tons of cash, and get anactul good cup of coffee….large, NOT grande. Oh, and, you know, donuts! It’s a win/win/win. 😃

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I hate it when they put the diet drinks on the top rack in convenience stores/grocery stores. I’m short, I can’t reach them. I have to climb up the cooler to get them, putting my feet on the bottom of the cooler and using the shelves to hang on. I’m 57. It’s not a good look. Probably not the best move. I could break a hip, for God’s sake!

    One time I was so pissed off, I told the manager of the convenience store that putting the pint-sized diet drinks on the top shelf is not a good idea because – for the most part – women buy them. And – for the most part – women are shorter than men. I asked him to move them down a few shelves to where the non-diet drinks were. He laughed at me. Laughed. I don’t go there anymore. They can take their top shelf diet drinks and put them where the sun don’t shine.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a dick!!! OMG! I don’t blame you for not giving them your business anymore! I agree, the majority of people who buy diet drinks ARE women! I wonder if it’s about the fact that more non-diet drinks sell, so they want them front and center? Regardless, that guy would have gotten a Converse up his ass had that been me!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I hate Gasoline pumps that are poorly programmed. It’s 14F frigging degrees outside, and as you get close to your amount you prepaid for, the pump slows to an incredible crawl ticking off the last few cents. Some start the molasses movement at 10 cents, others decide to start it with 20+ cents left to go. Meanwhile, the gale force winds are blowing you about with a windchill in the minus range. The damn things are so slow you could time them with a calendar!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. When only ONE of my TWO vehicles (I am only ONE person) has heat, so I am forced to drive the pickup to work today because I forgot to put on a hoodie (and was too lazy and late for work to walk the 15 steps back into my house to grab the hoodie so that I can have the luxury of driving my cold ass car to work today.)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You hit the first world nail on the head! What about when Netflix makes you wait 15 seconds for the next episode to start, and the clicker is inaccessible (meaning out of reach from your cozy spot under the blankies), so you have to, ugh, wait the 15 seconds for the episode to start. -_-

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh…and another one. Hitting the RETURN button on your keyboard to a blog post before finishing your sentence…you can’t go back and edit, so you feel like a dork for cutting off your comment abruptly.

    I hate having to wait for shipping. I want the stuff NAOW.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s the worst!!! When that happens to me, I get such anxiety! I start sweating and try to type like the wind, so, obviously, I make tons of errors and it takes a century to post the rest of my comment 😫😫😫😫

      Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG!!! I’ve always wondered that!! It’s a truly terrifying thought! I wonder if it’s a law that they have to come with Braille regardless? Or, it’s for people who walk up to the ATM?

      Like

  8. I’m in the military and I usually work swings (3-11pm) or mids (11-7am). I am stationed in the wonderfully, horrid place of South Dakota. This silly town shuts down by 9pm and doesn’t usually open up until 10am. Unless I forgo my precious sleep (which isn’t recommended because I’m a crabby person if I’m tired and I work on the flight line), I can’t get any errands done until Saturday. Oh, and any important errands I need to run, the business is only open from 10am-4pm, Monday-Friday. It also drives me crazy that civilians don’t show up to work early or when it’s 10:01 am and the doors are still locked.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. current problem: When you order a special bra that is designed to be worn by women like me (mastectomy/reconstruction) and the stupid shoulder straps slide down your arms ALL DAY LONG! And the truth is I probably don’t need to wear one but feel awkward not so I spend the day reaching into my shirt and pulling up the straps.. Why can’t they make a cute bra that has non slip straps?!?!?! OH AND CHANGING YOUR EATING HABITS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is all… for now. ❤

    Like

      1. Yeah…when it’s negative fuckteen I just wast to get back in the toasty car….why are you even ASKING about a car wash? It would insta-freeze and I’d be hermetically sealed in the driver seat until May.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. So, food trucks come to my office building all the time. They email us which trucks are coming in what days. In an effort to not be a fatty I have these emails sent to my trash bin immediately. One squeaked through my filter the other day stating a grilled cheese truck was coming!! There are just some things I’m not capable of passing up…. the prescribed date finally arrives….. and no grilled cheese truck!??? I about lost my mind!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yah it works 90% of the time… full disclosure I stalked them on Facebook and found they were posted up 15 mins from my house and made Dawson take me there for dinner! And you better believe I gave them a piece of my mind for bailing on me at lunch! Lol

        Liked by 1 person

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