Some Teaching Truths

In honor of Back to School, I decided to drop some fun teaching truth bombs (Also, I’m swamped this week and list posts are the easiest #sorrynotsorry). Even if you’re not a teacher, you’ll likely relate. If your job is high stress, but also high reward, you’ll for sure relate. Because I really should be labeling all the things instead of writing a blog post, let’s just begin:

1. Unless you’re crazily devoted to a fitness plan or you have a superhero’s will and control, you will eat every carb in your house after a bad day. 

2. Forget about the college “Freshmen Fifteen”. There’s such as a thing as the “Teacher Twenty”. Or, sometimes, the “Educator Eighty”. Also, this can happen during year one or year ten. 

3. You will eat your weight in mini-size chocolate candy. Sometimes in one day. 

#goals

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4. If the day after Valentine’s/Christmas/Easter clearance candy has been cleaned out, you can thank a teacher. 

5. You will get fat. So fat.

6. If food isn’t your happy place (congratulations on not being “pregnant” every year), you will drink copious amounts of wine and at some point in your career, consider rehab, but only the facilities that are more like spas and only because it would be the best sanity-saving vacation ever. 

7. If it comes down to toilet paper or a shiny new pack of Expo markers at the end of the month, markers win-hands down. 


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8. You save straws, bits of fabric, tissue boxes, and one 3 inch piece of string, because it all just may come in handy at some point. 

9. They never come in handy. 

10. Your teacher cabinet/closet/cupboard is a portal to Narnia or another dimension, because it’s where all of your supplies go to never be found again. 

I Googled “messy teacher cabinet” and this popped up. Two things: 1. Ya’ll lyin’ and 2. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Maybe someday I’ll be brave and share my Closet o’ Shame.

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11. No matter how poor you are, you always find a way to buy $80 worth of crap from the Target Dollar Spot. 

12. No matter how frustrating your students can be sometimes, you’re fiercely protective of them when they’re criticized by another teacher who doesn’t know them as well as you. 

13. Your students are your family. Your tribe. You love them. Every year, your heart opens up to allow for 20 more spaces. 

14. You crop dust. It’s only fair. 

15. If you weren’t an emotional person or crier before becoming an educator, you can kiss your shyness/pride goodbye. 

16. You will cry over everything.

17. You will have to kindly remind your students that, “Maybe someone needs to go to the restroom” after toxic waste lunch bombs are dropped all afternoon. 

18. If your student’s book order money is short, you pay what they’re missing without a second thought. 

19. You only go to the bathroom during the day once a week, but during that exact time, admin will walk in. It’s basically a scientific fact. 

20. Your teacher look is such a work of art that an eyebrow raise, lip purse, and nose wrinkle can mean 875 different things and no matter the day, the kid, or the teacher friend, the message is always received loud and clear. 

Trainer at inservice day says, “Pick a partner”-Teacher Bestie and I look at each other like…

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Tell me, who was your favorite teacher and why? Or, make me laugh and tell me an hilarious school or teacher story. 

Author: fattymccupcakes

Just a thirty-something girl trying to love herself the way she is: fat, rolls, cellulite, and fabulousness.

53 thoughts on “Some Teaching Truths”

  1. I must have been blessed by the teacher gods because I never had a teacher I didn’t like; Catholic School through 8th grade and then Public School through High School.

    Even the Vice Principle during High School.

    During my Junior year I decided to see what all the fun was about cutting class. Next morning over the loud speaker I received my invitation to his office. I was one of 20 or so students at the conference table and when he asked “what’s your story going to be today” I listened as every one came up with their excuses and some were doozies. My turn came and I was surprised when he looked at me…”what do you have to say Ms. Roman”. I looked him in the eye…” I went shopping” I said, telling the truth. The other kids looked at me like I was nuts but Mr. Hughes just smiled. He handed out punishments then told me to follow him and he led me to the women’s rest room outside his office. He opened the door, handed me a toothbrush and pointed to a section of the floor…”I want to see it shine” he told me. It did.

    When I was finished Mr. Hughes informed me that he knew my Dad, they served together in the Marines. Shit….by his smile I knew he’d talked to Dad too.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha!! Too funny, and I loved the list style!? Being so new to blogging I didn’t really realize there was another way to compose a post. Had my wheels turning for some ideas for my own!! Thanks for sharing friend! Start my strong teacher lady!! πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Last year I had this student who answered Beaver to EVERYTHING. How was your weekend? Beaver. What did you get for Christmas? Beaver. What’s the longest river in the world? Beaver.
    Beaver. Beaver. Beaver.
    Every time his mom emails I pray it’s not to enroll him in one of my classes this year. Beaver.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I would consider becoming a teacher for the Flair pens alone!
    My favorite teacher was 3rd grade: Miss Beer. And the other 3rd grade teachers were Mr. Champaign, Miss Sherry, and Mrs. Troha. We basically had a 75% chance of becoming alcoholics.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I think my absolute favorite teacher had to be Mr. Sonksin – he was in charge of sophomore English, speech, debate and the entire after-school dramatics program.

    He was also a collector of antique clothing…specifically woman’s clothing.

    There are two things I remember vividly from his classes –

    (1) for homecoming week, he donned one of his antique woman’s outfits, complete with a wig, the hat, makeup, and stockings. He even shaved his legs.
    (2) I loved his teaching style so much that when speech 1 had ended (a required course) I didn’t hesitate in taking speech 2 (an elective). In S2 – there were 6 of us students. Several times throughout that course, he’d sit in one of the student desks, close his little organizer book, drop his pen, and announce “OK…what do you guys wanna talk about?”

    No lesson, no plan, no homework – but damn, did we learn a ton about ourselves and the world in general in these off the cuff bull sessions.

    He was a teacher who was damn good at connecting with his students.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Bahahahaha I love this. All of it. But especially the crop dusting.

    Sort of related (maybe not, but I’m still going to share it), when I was bringing all my crap home at the end of the school year (6 years worth…), my husband told me not to bring home my copies of Harry Potter with my classroom library books– GASP! Why? Because we currently have my original copies (that I refuse to throw away even though whole chapters fall out because that’s where the magic first happened!), my new set of copies (that I don’t read; I use the original ones. I’m preserving these for my children!), I’m starting my collection of the illustrated editions (it’s his fault! He bought them for me!), a Hufflepuff edition of book one (I got it in London, and it says Philosopher’s Stone instead of Sorcerer’s Stone– I NEEDED it.), and, of course, my classroom library copies (you didn’t really believe I’d give them away did you? What if I get another teaching job?!). So our total (we’ll leave it just at total for book one) has come to five. No shame.

    Not to mention the three plastic tubs full of other YA fiction that I couldn’t part with either, the file folders I felt compelled to bring home– used and new (I might need them), and all but one box of paper clips I’d been hoarding…

    I tried to explain to my husband that this is normal. He didn’t believe me. My spare room looks like a teacher’s closet, now.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I had to google Freshmen Fifteen, as I have NO idea what that meant! Oops. Surely if you’re running around after little’uns all day you could lose weight?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, maybe toddler teachers have a fighting chance to lose weight. My kiddos are eight and nine. I don’t typically have to run after them πŸ˜‚. The only running I do is at recess to the principal’s hat box full of candy πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I am taking free classes now but will be starting school in a few months for my Bachelor’s; in order to work with VIP Kids. I look forward to teaching; even if only online.
    I had a few favorite teachers but, I will tell you about my 6th grade teacher. His name was Mr. Kerns and he used to play jokes and put me in an empty trash can before starting to walk away. He had a great sense of humor and read us stories, as well. Thanks for letting me revisit that time.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I must have been very blessed, because I had a pretty good group of teachers. There were a number of bad ones (as in, ‘Who allowed this person to teach?’ bad), but overall, they were a great bunch.

    Now, if you want to talk about crappy school administrators (I’m looking at you Principal Mitchell), then that’s a wholly different story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What’s crazy is I don’t even remember ANY of my principals, save for one. He was amazing and was known for his famous high fives. You lived to get one of those. I think it says A LOT about all of the others-most likely they didn’t make much of a presence, thus the lack of any sort of impression, bad or good πŸ˜•

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I remember *my* principal because one morning (well, several mornings), a group of guys in the very back of the school bus started smoking weed. “Mr. Dumbass” decided that he would have me rat out those who’d done it. Not in the privacy of his office, mind you, but right there on the bus – in front of everyone. It was like he’d never seen an episode of “Baretta;” people who snitch on drug users don’t have a long life expectancy. When my mother found out, she went ballistic, and he made my last year of HS hell for that. Even screwed with me during the graduation ceremony in front of a packed gymnasium.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. #8,10, and 11 hands down πŸ˜‚ bc you never know when you’ll need that stuff for a craft πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ and then end up buying crafts supplies bc they got lost in the Narnia portal closet haha. This year I’m going back to the education world. This time preschool 😱 good bye special ed. I need a break from you.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. If I was a teacher, I could not bring my markers to school!! My Faber-Castells are like extensions of me and I couldn’t take the risk that some would go missing. I literally put a sticker on all of my Staedtler pens at work to ensure no one steals them. Writing utensils are serious business, and I couldn’t bear the possibility!! (Also, have you considered one of those wine bras? People at work swear by them for the lake, could work for work…)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I know! I don’t usually invest in super expensive pens/markers for work for that very reason. My budget is Mr. Sketch.

      HAHA! That’d be amazing if it wasn’t totally against the rules!! Back in the 50s teachers got away with that kind of stuff. You know, back when they’d smoke in the teachers’ lounge? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜±

      Like

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