How Do I *Make Shit Happen*?

Sometimes, I look at the lives of really successful, happy people and I wonder what I’m doing wrong.

All around me, people are purchasing their first homes, buying appliances and custom cabinets for said home, adopting pets, traveling, investing in IRAs.

And, here I am, buying a coat rack and feeling like that means I’m an adult.

It’s not like I haven’t tried.

I have.

It’s not like I sit around feeling sorry for myself all the time.

Sometimes I do, though. And, when I do, you better believe I really go all out with crying over dog videos in my onesie pajamas.

I tried really hard last year to find an affordable home to purchase that would provide me with the next step: adopting a dog.

I never found that home.

Maybe I was too picky, too hesitant, too scared of a major first step, but I’m going to give myself the benefit of the doubt on this one.

I chose one of the worst times to look for a home to buy in my area, as home prices are at a record high. I also wasn’t comfortable buying an overpriced home in a bad area. I’m no home buying expert, but that didn’t seem a wise investment.

Yet, still, I see people my age buying homes in my area.

What the actual fuck?

I’m planning a trip for this summer to the U.K., while at the same time, I can barely afford the gas to get across town during my monthly “week of poverty” before payday.

How are people, with huge families no less, able to travel so much?

What the genuine fuck?

I wonder sometimes if it’s my outlook. I try to have a positive outlook on things, but that’s hard when you feel like life is constantly beating you at some game you never knew you were playing.

I know a great many people will say that the power of positive thought truly exists. I’m not here to say I necessarily disagree.

But…until positive thought pays off my student loan debt, I’ll probably be a semi-skeptic.

Sometimes, I wonder if I’m not a hard enough worker or I lack gumption.

I’ve been looking for a side hustle to help pay for aforementioned trip.

I’ve looked into VIPKID, which is an online tutoring company. You tutor kids in China, so that means I’ll have to tutor with my Flock of Seagulls bed head hair and with sleep crusties still in the corner of my mouth, because the time slots for my time zone are un-Godly-early.

(I’m still highly considering VIPKID. I’ll just be a total sleep-deprived grouch is all.)

I’ve gone so far as to schedule a vehicle inspection with Lyft, but I keep getting this text message:

I’ve rescheduled twice, and Lyft doesn’t like to give out a phone number so one can problem solve using spoken words.

I didn’t even want drunk people puking in my car anyway, Lyft.

I should probably just figure out a way to make a side job happen and quit my bitching, but a very dominant, stubborn part of me knows I already work my ass off as a teacher, so I’m not thrilled at the realization that my career isn’t cutting it in the having-money-department.

So, all this to say, my goal for this year is to learn the secret to making shit happen.

Maybe it really is positive thinking? Maybe it’s not being more concerned about binging on Call the Midwife, but binging on bringing in some Benjamins? Maybe it’s not worrying how old I’ll be when I finally own my own refrigerator?

In fact, my first order of business is to quit worrying about everyone else.

(Maybe I can get this tattooed on my forearm?)

So, do you know the secret to making shit happen? Sharing is caring!

Author: fattymccupcakes

Just a thirty-something girl trying to love herself the way she is: fat, rolls, cellulite, and fabulousness.

71 thoughts on “How Do I *Make Shit Happen*?”

  1. Making shit happen these days is hard. We made it happen with both of us working, taking out 3 loans, paying off extra when we could. We did pay our house off in about 15 years instead of 50. Back when we were young loans were easy to get, you were friends with your bank manager and houses were not so expensive. We paid AU$26,000 for ours. When we bought our first ever brand new car many years later it cost double what we paid for the house! Our house (the same) is now worth AU$500,000 + – mind you, we have done extensive renovations and extensions to it. All I can say is good luck !!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Stop comparing yourself to others, they have different goals. I worked super hard as a registered nurse for many years. My husband and I rented a small, affordable apartment, we shared one vehicle(crazy in America) and we saved all of our money to move abroad. Other nurses thought I was nuts. Why do you only have one car, don’t you want to buy a house? They were trying to put me in their box.
    We loved to travel, and that’s what we put our money towards. Make your own goals, live your own goals and you will be happy πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

      1. It was really hard at first to “not keep up with the Joneses” But in the end, I got what I wanted. I am not tied to any one place, I do not have huge crushing debt(well the student loans are heavy), I just do not live in their world of material things. Go for what YOU really want!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I hear ya! I too have been looking for a side job and am secretly stalking my neighbours to find out if they are drug dealers because who else could afford to take 8 kids to Florida at Christmas time?!
    I’m not kidding, houses like the ones we looked at last summer are currently Β£20k more expensive than they were 6 months ago and I can’t see Brexit changing that in favour of us…. oh well who wants to adult anyway πŸ™‚ xo

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I literally don’t have a scooby doo mate. If you ever learn the secret, can you let me know please? Whilst I’ve popped a sprog out, I still don’t feel like any more of a proper adult. I look at all the Mums in the school playground with their nice cars & proper big houses that they own (in one if the most expenses areas in the country to buy property) and wonder how on earth did they manage it and I’ve so desperately failed. Ok so my decrepit body has let me down somewhat, but still even in my attitude I still feel about 19. As I type this, I’m avoiding work, thinking about what sweet treat to give myself next and wondering if I’ll be able to watch all the TV shows that I want to watch tonight. These are my biggest concerns. Probably why I’m not a property owner yet. Anyway, high five πŸ–πŸ»

    Liked by 5 people

    1. βœ‹πŸ»βœ‹πŸ» ALL THE HIGH FIVES. And, the fact that “When am I eating next” being the main thought going on in my brain at any given time is likely why I am not a property owner still. So, we are the coolest winners ever!

      Liked by 2 people

  5. In my humble opinion, making it happen begins wit the fire in your belly that you are currently experiencing. You can do it! It might not happen the way you have envisioned it, but if you stay “hungry” you will recognize the opportunities when they present themselves. Thank you on behalf of all parents for being a teacher who loves and cares for her students. Never underestimate the difference you can make in a child’s life. That, in and of itself, is pretty spectacular. Give yourself some credit, my friend!

    Liked by 3 people

  6. If you find the secret pass it along! Part of me wishes I had stayed in teaching because I would be so much closer to paying off my student debt if I had. But I would have been a shell of a person and hated my life and still wouldn’t have a full-time contract because that takes 7-10 freaking years. My adulting is not going as planned haha.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I married well. Seriously that’s all I got. I worked two jobs in my twenties just to pay the bills, kind of, and travel, now and then, and rarely out of the country. One major health crisis and I was heinously in debt.
    Then I hit the husband lottery. The hubs who based his college major choices on what would get him the highest paying job possible with his skill set. Then systematically set about to upgrade said job. But he would be miserable if it weren’t for me. Money doesn’t actually get you happiness.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Yeah but for it to buy security, you have to not spend it on things. You have to put it in the bank. Invest carefully.
        I don’t know how to explain it but when I was working two jobs and barely scraping by, I was always treating myself. Of course I deserved new clothes or a latte a day or whatever. I worked sooo hard.
        Now I think every time I see something, do I really need that? Am I willing to move half way round the world with that or store it until we return. Hell, no. So effective at setting me to not buy anything.
        Maybe you could think “is this worth my puppy?”

        Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s not too bad at all! Some places here want the same amount they want for the deposit! I mean, I get it. People can be assholes and they let their pets destroy rentals, but it makes it almost impossible for responsible people to rent pet-friendly places.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I looked at no less than 500 homes before I bought. It took me a year. My 25 year old girlfriend looked at one house, and put in an offer. Like it wasnt a major decision, just leapt ahead. Sometimes I wonder if one should just fucking PLOW ahead with every single notion one ever has for best results

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Urgh. Comparing yourself with other people is always going to be rubbish.

    I am really cheeky, so I asked friends how they got their deposits together when people started to buy homes- most of them had help from their parents. It is really tough if you don’t have a parent with a pile of cash to help you! We only managed it through a housing association in the UK (we bought 50% of our house…and paid rent on the half we didn’t own.)

    The other trick is to be REALLY poor with your first job. That way, if you’ve managed to live on practically nothing once, you can always save more as you get little pay increases. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 4 people

    1. p.s. The main reason I wanted to buy a place to live was so I could get a kitten. I really really know your pain!

      p.p.s. I’ve wanted to have kids for yeeeears, but never felt settled enough. I’m not 11 years later than my sister when she had her first child. My family has been telling me I am running out of time for 10 years. Eep.

      Anyway, we’re all struggling with something.

      Liked by 2 people

  10. You know, my communications teacher and I had a discussion about that, last semester. People our age (seriously, I am at the point where I am in the same age brackets as my college professors; please send help and chocolate) buy homes and take crazy international vacations and he dropped this incredible insight on me:

    “In my experience, people who do those things generally don’t care that much about money. I asked one of my friends how she affords to take these European vacations every year and she told me, ‘I am MASSIVELY in debt.'”

    It’s one of those things no one ever really thinks about, because people aren’t broadcasting all the shitty nitty-gritty of what it’s costing them to buy those homes and take those vacations; they just share the heavily filtered (both literally and figuratively) Instagram versions of their lives. I bet if you got the chance to look over their 30% interest mortgage rates and the astronomical negative balances on their credit cards, you probably wouldn’t be quite so envious.

    Just something to think about.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Exactly @ The Cupcake Witch. Take a family of 8 to Florida? Put it on the plastic. Go out to dinner? On the card. Buy 10 bath bombs at Fragrant Jewels? Charge it. (You need the bath bombs to take a de-stressing bath from all the debt).

      At (almost) age 56, I doubt I’ll buy another house. I just don’t want the hassle. That said, I’m yearning for somewhere I can have a proper dog (Doberman), rather than only cats.

      Liked by 2 people

  11. I’m still trying to figure that out myself. So I can’t answer that for you. But I agree to finally getting shit done this year. I need to make my travel blog about more travel, so this is the year to get that done. A plan with dates and detailed steps can’t hurt, I figure.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I, also, want to do VIP Kid but, need my Bachelor’s first. I am not focusing on that til I get back from my trip to Ecuador.
    I guess all I can say is to try not comparing yourself to others or read stories of people worse off then you. It helps me stay more focused and thankful on what I have and am able to accomplish.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I don’t really have any good advice, friend. My parents helped us a bit with our down payment on the house, but we’d also both saved quite a bit over the years. I still feel like I’m scrambling half the time, though, and pray that my fridge or my washing machine don’t break. Like, ever.

    I do have to say, getting a dog CHANGED MY LIFE! I love my kitty, obv, but my pup will spoon me–I mean, come on! I don’t love it when she pees in the basement, though. That’s not fun. -_-

    Anyways, I’d have to agree with what most people seem to be saying: you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. I know, I know, it’s easier said than done, but what good does it do anyway? I think you rock. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, and I forgot! Teachers get totally gypped. You should be making the big bucks. The state of the teaching profession (did you see that woman who got arrested for questioning the superintendent’s raise?!) is just sad. I wanted to be a teacher all my life, and then I only lasted 6 years. :/

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Yup, I’m totally with you. My little sis has just bought a house, but that’s because she’s saved up for years and has a job that pays her three times more than my highest ever yearly salary, whereas I don’t own a house because I quit my job and like to travel to interesting places on day trips. However, she works like a mad thing seven days a week so doesn’t have the time to actually spend any of her earnings. I’d rather have the experiences for now… A friend of mine owns a lovely house and has lovely things but once confessed that she was thousands in debt on credit cards…

    Keep doing what you’re doing – just try not to feel deflated by what others are doing as it often isn’t exactly as it seems…

    Liked by 2 people

      1. They do but I am taking my sweet time contributing. I need to…God do I need too. I CANNOT be a Walmart greeter at 80. My message didn’t make a lot of sense last night as I was drunk and I want to make additional comments. I sooooo feel you! My children are the only ones that haven’t been to Disneyworld and I feel like an ass hole for it. But 9 times out of 10, it’s the grandparents paying for a huge chunk of it. Well my dad is dead and I haven’t seen my mother in over 10 years and I can’t ask my husband’s parents. I drive the same car from 2004 with 269,000+ miles on it. My credit score is probably 31 and I am so f’ing confused about taxes. There is a reason why my blog is called Hot Mess Memoir. I’m going to look into the affiliate program with Amazon to monetize my blog. I heard that may be an option. As for Google Adsense, I’ve made a combined total of just over $20 and you can’t even cash out till you’ve reached $100. Ugh!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Everyone is different. Get a side job if you’re thinking about it. Try something you would enjoy. Stop dwelling on the bottom line and immerse yourself instead in work and the enjoyment of your work. I know it sounds like I’m a fucking hippie but nah. I just spent a lot of time around people with money to burn who are fucking miserable. It ain’t everything.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Heard a great quote once that whenever I’m feeling like you are I tell myself β€˜comparison is the thief of joy’. By far my fav quote ever and also you never know if those people are looking at you wishing they had your life. If you are in the south west of the U.K. in the summer hit up sista up I know some good cupcake places πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Do you have the patience/desire to read or listen to a book called “The Millionaire Next Door?”
    We listened to this book on a LONG car ride and it made SOOOO much sense. The dude who wrote it described the psychology of money and how the richest among us are NOT the people we think. He says a series of very small, but ultimately meaningful, decisions make the biggest impact to our ultimate financial success.
    I can’t promise you’ll find a silver bullet there, but I do think it’s an interesting read/listen.

    Liked by 1 person

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