WTF Am I Even Thinking?

It’s no secret I am currently conspiring to write a book. Well, not simply conspiring. I’ve actually got *most* of it written. It’s just a messed up hodgepodge with almost no direction or central idea/theme/vision, is all.

No biggie.

Excuse me while I go throw up.

Actually, excuse me while I go procrastinate by doing literally anything other than write for my book.

*sits on edge of bed, staring off into nothing for the better part of an hour*

I’m struggling to find a central theme for my ramblings.

Not only that, I’m struggling to write solely for the purpose of someday maybe publishing my words.

I love me the instant gratification that is blogging.

Don’t even lie and say you totally weren’t shaking your head in agreement. You were. I saw you.

I write a post and, almost instantly, I’m met with feedback that feeds my soul (and that ever-present need to be validated).

It’s a really great rewards system.

“Writing” a book is the direct opposite of this.

I *have* to write and then afterwards no one rings a bell or gives me a high five or anything. It’s really disheartening.

So, I’m struggling, ya’ll.

Further, I don’t know what posts to save for my book and which to go ahead and publish on my blog.

So, not only do I have no direction whatsoever in terms of my “book”, I have no blooming idea what I should blog about.

A good example of this conundrum would be an idea I have for a travel series in honor of my upcoming trip to Amsterdam, the U.K. and Ireland.

Many moons ago, I went to the U.K. and Ireland for the first time, and it was, single-handedly, the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. Not only was it epic to experience being in another country, having the time of my life, but also, so.many random and hilarious things happened while there.

Now that I’ve gotten serious (and by gotten serious, I mean I’ve saved some Word documents with some possible already-written blog posts) about actually maybe putting a book together, I don’t know if I should include my travel stories in my book or on my blog.

And then, there’s the crippling self-doubt.

There’s always that.

I don’t want to rush-procrastinate and ruin my only future memoir. It’s not like I have a whole other secret double life that I can write about if I totally bomb telling the first life.

Would anyone notice if I tried to write it again?

Really, WTF am I even thinking?

This is the epitome of first world problems in case anyone needed a good psychotic example for a college paper or whatever.

I’ve been anxiously awaiting the perfect time to use my favorite Andy from Parks & Rec meme. I think it fits. Every time I sit down to write, it’s like wiping a poop marker- “Still poop, still poop”.

Author: fattymccupcakes

Just a thirty-something girl trying to love herself the way she is: fat, rolls, cellulite, and fabulousness.

55 thoughts on “WTF Am I Even Thinking?”

  1. Just let things flow and write… You can decide in which order it goes afterwards, or you can edit it and add/remove parts. Sometime,s just writing without thinking about it is the best thing to do.

    And if you ever make it big and need your memoirs translated for a French-speaking public… Think of me! πŸ˜‰

    Seiously though, I will look forward to reading your book and I promise you instant gratification the form of a Goodreads review! Or an Amazon one. Or one on my blog. Or all of them. Your choice.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You’re the best, friend! You know you’d be the first person I’d go to if I need really anything translated into French! ❀️❀️

      OMG! Speaking of…I’ve been meaning to continue learning French. Maybe you can help me by writing conversations in French some time?!


  2. Hahaha. God I love Andy. He is all of us. I’m thinking it would be fine continuing to publish blog posts using some of your stories you want to put in your book. I mean, what’s-his-face that wrote Marley & Me, that was just a collection of his newspaper columns. I can see that it’s a bit tricky deciding what to do. Either way, can I get a dedication in your book please?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Andy is my spirit animal πŸ˜‚. I’ve seen people do that, especially bloggers. However, that Juggling the Jenkins mom blogger/vlogger wrote a book and her publisher told her to take all of her posts that are included in her book off her blog, because no one wants to pay for something that’s free. So, I just don’t know!! YOU KNOW IT ❀️.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Your book is going to AMAZING!! And I demand a signed copy, Katie lol.

    But I feel you on the writing bit. I love the notification train that pulls into happiness station when I upload a new post. It boosts my day. MAYBE every time you finish a chapter the Mr can give you a high five? Or just put out one of those “ring for service” bells in your house and have people hit it when they read something? Or just because – because we all know your writing is awesome and thus you deserve to hear that bell go off so many times that you start to get annoyed at the sound of it but also really proud at the same time.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I too am writing a book..well, 4 books, isn’t that sickening? lol. And because I too thrive on that instant feedback, my poor husband has to read my books, one paragraph at a time. I write five sentences and I’m like ” READ THIS AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK” poor guy lol

    Liked by 1 person

  5. OHHHH MY GODDDDD this is so excitin!!!! Im pre-ordering a signed copy! And I’m throwing all the highest kinds of bad-bitch vibes out into the universe for you. So many BELIEVE in you and you inspire the little writers out here every day!!!! DO IT GIRL!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Keep writing. The central theme for your ramblings will come when you’ve put down enough words. I think it’s in the contract.

    You know…the CONTRACT?

    The one signed…

    in blood…

    Under the light of a pale full moon?

    and held by a guy who’s hair kinda sticks up on the sides…like horns?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Okay, finished. First off, staring into space is an integral part of the writing process, and I will not have you dissing it. Because that would mean I didn’t accomplish anything this week. So, let’s just agree to uphold the grand tradition of staring=Deep Thinking That is Totally Meaningful and Productive Someday.

    Second: when you need movement but forward is asking too much, it’s a good time to reorganize. I’m finding Scrivener a huge help (hashtag notspons!) with that because I can easily see what’s done, how it would/could fit together, and what does/doesn’t fit at all. Plus, reorganizing is a great way to procrastinate while still being productive; you’re getting things done, just not new things.

    You’re a funny and talented writerβ€”I have no doubt you’ll finish your book, get it published, and sell at least two copies to me (one to loan out to other people, because I’m weird about my books)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. So, now I know what to look forward to “if” I ever decide to try writing a book. πŸ˜‚ Katie, everyone loves reading your writing – I’m sure your book will be equally entertaining! Go for it, girl!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m going to need a signed copy too please!!

    I think including hilarious travel tales (along with all your funny life stories) would be awesome! If not, you can re-use them for your blog later!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Truth!

    I think your book is (See what I did there?) going to be hilarious! Write a chapter on this procrastination thing . . it’s gold! Gold I tell you!

    All this amazing content AND a European trip? I’m sold.

    GO FMC!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. When I finally gave blogging a real try I loved it! And I’ve never since entertained thoughts of going deeper into the writer’s craft. Of course, men are soooooo inclined to take the fast reward over a bigger reward! Yeah, I’m a dude through and through.

    Blogging does totally rock, though. It’s working for me. Mine’s mostly about outdoor stuff and photography

    Liked by 1 person

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