Heart Palpitations

All I want to do is eat. Eat.all.the.things. I want cake, cookies, salty chips, whole avocados. This is how I get when I am stressed, excited, nervous, feeling in limbo, feeling settled… Basically, all the time. However, the need to eat my feelings is therapy-edition-bad  when I have big decisions to make.

I am a horrible decision maker.

In that, I will avoid making major life decisions at all costs. Most days, I hope life will just happen and I won’t have to make any rash/huge/scary decisions myself.

The most inane, ridiculous aspect of this is that currently I am stressing about making a decision I don’t even have to make right now. I am stressing about stressing about a scenario that has not even happened.

What the?

As most of you know, I am attempting to make the big move to England (just writing that makes my eye twitch and heart palpitate). I had an interview last Wednesday with a school in Oxford. It was so cool. I would say it went well, and I learned a lot about the school, the school system in England, and that “fab” is my new favorite expression.

They expressed their disappointment that they wouldn’t be able to see me teach. I offered to send a video ASAP. They were thrilled. Then, I was down for the count with bronchitis for 4 days. This is how my life usually responds to time-sensitive things.

The woman I have been communicating with has been super nice and understanding, and insisted it was not a rush. So, after a depressing three days of missed work and a weekend, I came back to work, found a video on my school iPad I had already done, and sent it off.

I look hideous in this video, and it could be debated that I am about 6 months along due to the wonderful angle it was taken in. I mean, I am not even lying. The still of the beginning of the video makes me look like Sloth after a stroke. I am not kidding. So, I sincerely hope they disregard my RCF (resting crazy face) and just concentrate on the excellent teaching (if I do say so myself).

So, the point of my post is that I am stressing about a job I have yet to attain.

I was actually stressing about whether or not I should sell my Keurig, or not. I actually looked up shipping costs to ship a Keurig.

What the actual hell?

I don’t even have a job offer, but I am already homesick and sweating over the cost of public transportation.

What the fuck?

For real though, if this happens, it will be huge. Scary, exciting, expensive, and life-altering. Despite the exciting aspect of this, anything that is this huge of a change is terrifying.

I am also quite surprised by how expensive it is over there. I read somewhere that the cost of living is something like 33% higher in the U.K. than in the U.S. Yikes. There is a very real possibility I won’t even be able to afford this.

So, nothing other than stress to report.

 

 

 

 

Can I Add This to My Resume?

I am so excited to announce that I have been given the opportunity to write for a local magazine. Never did I think that this would be an opportunity available to me. Sure, in my most wildest dreams, did I wonder, but never did I let it settle in my conscious as something that could be a real possibility. Yet, here I am, announcing this wonderful news.

The magazine is called Bliss Babe, and is a women’s health, beauty, and fitness publication.

You might all be wondering what Fatty McCupcakes could possibly have to do with a fitness, beauty, and health magazine. I mean, have you seen me? Have you read my posts about my baked goods addiction? Have you witnessed my epic yoga failure? Apparently, a lot of women relate to my struggles. Apparently, all women struggle with diet, fitness, and feeling beautiful. They are not just my struggles, they are our struggles.

Now, I need your help. The creator has mentioned that it is possible that some of my existing blog posts could be published in the magazine. With that, I need to know which ones would be the best to be featured in an actual magazine *EEEK*.

Below are three possible categories I could be writing about, with links to blog posts falling under that category. If you are new to following me, or missed some of these, and you need something to do, well…I would be forever grateful if you could check these out. At the end of this post are links to 3 different surveys (I have to upgrade, as in pay to have more than 1 question per survey, so um, no. Sorry).

Beauty

Lipstick

My Hairy Life

An Ode to Hairy Women

Health

Why You Gotta Be Like That, Carbs?

Be Cool, Alright?

Fat Clap

Free Donut Day

Get Out the Way, Bitch

Fitness

Whip My Ass Ass

Yoga Farts

21 Minute Survival Challenge

Below, you can find the links to the surveys. If it weren’t for all of the people who read the crazy crap I write, this would not be happening! I would be honored to use your suggestions for what should be featured in the magazine. Thank you all so very much.

Beauty Blog Post Survey

Health Blog Post Survey

Fitness Blog Post Survey

Thank you’s and CUPCAKES!

Vroom Vroom

I’m so very sorry to my readers that I’ve been so quiet lately. This past weekend was a whirlwind of car shopping, Steampunk, stress, excitement, and car buying. Yes, I bought a car! All I want to do is drive. If I could comfortably sleep in my new car, you’d find me curled up in my sleeping bag, happy as a hippo. 

She’s beautiful. Basically, I’m driving the Taj Mahal of cars. When your old car’s AC doesn’t kick in until you’re home, and it has holes-plural, anything is an improvement. 

I have many plans for future posts: My 8th Grade Perm Debacle and Country Living-A City Girl Does Elko, to name just two. 

Please bear with me, as it’s hard to write when you’re driving off into the sunset with your new lover. 

Vroom vroom 

 

Black Beauty