You know how when you have a really stressful, crappy day the only thing that will make it better is massive quantities of carbs and a good angry conversation with yourself in the car on the way home?
Well, when you’re on a “diet” and all you have at lunch that even halfway resembles cake is an avocado (and it’s not even close to car convo time), that shit’ll do.
I brought an avocado for lunch with the intention of cutting it up and adding a few pieces to my Mexican-style salad.
After a morning where positively everything went wrong and after hearing some not-so-happy news, my emotions were conflicted and I was HANGRY.AF.
I almost forgot I even brought that damn avocado and didn’t recall my salad’s one saving grace until I had already choked down my plain lettuce and farty black beans.
I also forgot the butter knife I meant to take so I could cut said avocado.
It was almost animalistic what happened next.
I needed that avocado and not a few measly I-have-self-control-look-at me pieces.
I took the end of my fork and I just mauled that avocado like a savage until the skin was ripped to shreds and I could start inhaling the poop green goodness.
I sat and angry ate an entire fucking avocado.
And, it was a big boy, too.
Even when I bring healthy food options, I end up figuring out a way to royally fuck it up.
I need help.
Have you ever eaten a whole avocado in one sitting? Maybe I’m impressed/shocked/disgusted over something that’s not even a big deal. If not an avocado, have you ever eaten an entire *something* and then immediately felt like a fat bastard?
I need to know.